She would do this to me on my worst days. The rest of my life could be burning in the background but the sound of her big little feet running to answer my knock at the door would heal anything.
I would reach down to hug her and she would grab my hand and try racing me inside to show me her obsession. I always pulled her back in for a hug and when I’d let her go she would (sometimes) patiently ask if we could go now.
Lila wasn’t always the biggest fan of my music. Playing any instrument or any kind of singing was grounds for discipline. She loved the classics like “Wheels on the Bus” but was very particular of who sang and when. Over the past year it was relieving to see her loosen up her very strict standards and (try to) sing along to new songs I was working on. She was singing this one a few weeks ago with confidence until her camera shyness kicked in.
It’s hard to know what someone will be when they grow-up but if Lila had it her way she would have been a combination of astronomer, archaeologist, astronaut, ballerina, musician, and track star. I’ve had five or six different jobs in my lifetime so who’s to say her goals were too lofty? NASA would have been lucky to have her.
Last year Lila had a Christmas Pageant at her preschool and she was really into it. So much so that the teachers asked her to stop dancing because it wasn’t part of the performance. Being that she was a three-year-old and talent scouts from America’s Got Talent weren’t in the audience, I wanted to find the teacher and suggest they not stifle my daughter's creativity... but Lila grabbed my hand before I could find the teacher and wanted to make silly faces for the camera so I was robbed of a zealous parenting opportunity. Thank you, Lila.
This is Lila trying to catch her shadow.
Lila was really competitive. Running races, tag, hide-and-seek…debates... dance offs…
When Lila was born I decided I would go back and finish school. Life was really heavy working two jobs, going to school full time, and trying to start over again with my music. At the time I had just started working on a new project that would eventually turn into Strange Familia. The first verses of our first song Odes are about Lila. “I have come too far to give up on the only thing I’ve ever really loved / Won’t give up on the only one I’ve ever really loved” I’ve listened to Odes a few times since the accident and for the first time it felt empty to me. Before Lila I was directionless, just kind of floating by. She gave me reason to care about the future and a desire to do something more with my life. Over the past few days I’ve had moments asking myself why or how I could keep going when my reason for it all is gone. I’ve never felt purpose leave me like this before.
I have been comforted with the love and support I’ve received from family and friends these past few days. I don’t like to think about where I might be without many of you. The second half of Odes was written about those who’ve helped me through the hard parts of life and and as many of you have been there for me in the past, you have been here for me now. Thank you.
When we were recording the Strange Familia record we weren’t sure if we should include Odes as it had already been released the year before. It was such an important song to us that we decided it needed a home in an album. We re recorded the song and added a few extra pieces. If you listen closely to the album version, you can hear Lila in the first instrumental break. Her voice pulled from the videos below. Right next to Lila’s voice in the song is my mom’s voice, pulled from her answering machine after her accident years ago. Together forever.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to everyone who’s reached out or donated to Lila’s funeral costs and Alexa’s medical bills. That’s not hyperbole. I don’t know how I could ever thank you. The best I’ll be able to do is share reminders of her. We had four beautiful years with her and I have a lot of pictures and video that I hope will make you smile the same way she made me smile and will continue to make me smile.
With love,
- Daddy
The funeral services will be held on Friday, October 20th, 2017 at 11:00 am. A viewing will be held from 9:30 am-10:45 am, prior to the funeral. Both the funeral and viewing will be held at the Draper Utah Meadows Stake Center located at 575 East 13800 South, Draper, Utah. Interment will be in the Willard City Cemetery.
